Ep 4 – Progress over Perfection

This blog explores how perfectionism becomes an obstacle on the journey to self-mastery and how an attitude of progress over perfection can help us strive for excellence without stagnating our inner growth.

People, who know me well, know that I am a recovering perfectionist. I begin with the desire to be the best at everything I do, but the excitement at the start of the project eventually sours when the need to be perfect, look perfect, and do perfect, comes to the forefront. Leading to quitting prematurely and often accompanied with a lot of guilt, shame, and self-flagellation.

I’ve seen this pattern in my clients too. We regard perfectionism as a commendable trait. Our education systems have conditioned us to strive for this elusive perfectionism. So much so that we equate it to be the epitome of self-improvement. But in reality, it is fear dressed as high standards demanding tireless efforts that never quite meet the mark. 

The Price of Perfection

Most of us define perfection as a state of being flawless, without fault. We believe any endeavour or project we take up needs to be flawless, but most times it is this desire itself that comes in the way of accomplishing our goals and eventually, self-mastery.

Perfectionism slows us down.

If we always aim for flawlessness, we will obsess over the tiny details, doing and redoing the tasks; because we are afraid we might have overlooked something. At the end of the day, it wears us down. We lose our momentum in this process of hyper-focusing and miss out on the big picture.

Perfectionism keeps us in our comfort zone.

When our conditioning to strive for perfectionism runs too deep, it can stop us from trying something new. If we cannot be sure we can ace it, why bother trying it all? This keeps us stuck in our comfort zones and makes us averse to exploring new domains. The longer we stick to our comfort zones the greater the fear of becoming redundant or irrelevant in our organisations and relationships. 

Perfectionism leads to self-criticism.

With every failed attempt at perfection, we are harsher on ourselves. We judge ourselves for not achieving our goals and worse, start to believe that we are not capable of achieving them. We start associating our self-worth to perform or be perfect, which ends up leading to an inner narrative of “I am not good enough.”

Perfectionism at its core is self-destructive and unattainable, hampering success. Following the path of perfectionism often leads to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem in the long run.

The one where Maya never feels ready

The biggest lesson in my self-discovery journey

Does that mean we get complacent?

This is a common counter I receive from ambitious professionals in our Coaching conversations which stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of perfectionism. Striving for excellence and striving for perfectionism are not the same. 

In the journey of self-mastery, there is a genuine desire to improve ourselves and be better than where we were, and that desire is necessary to put in the efforts. But nowhere does that require us to be flawless. Rather, the journey to self-mastery and excellence requires us to embrace imperfectionism. We need to be beginners before we attain mastery. This is where a progressive mindset serves us better.

Instead of focusing on a perfect outcome, if we turn it around to monitor our progress towards our goals, we can have a healthier attitude towards self-improvement and growth. 

Why Progress over perfection?

– By focusing our energies on progress, we remain motivated. Every small step in the right direction counts. With our attention towards where we are today compared to yesterday, we only look at propelling ourselves closer towards the goal. The more we improve, the higher the motivation to achieve the targets we set out for.

– The minute we turn our attention towards progress, uncertainties and challenges start to seem like stepping stones rather than failure. By focusing on the steps forward, we can learn from our mistakes and emerge stronger rather than crucify ourselves for every wrong move.

– By focusing on the steps towards achieving our goals, we can celebrate smaller milestones with every development we make. That leaves us feeling accomplished with every step we take in the right direction, boosting our self-worth and self-esteem without self-flagellation. 

As noble as the pursuit of perfection seems, it truly is the enemy of progress. So keep striving for excellence, but aim for progress instead of perfection. Rather than beating yourself up towards achieving something unattainable, direct your attention towards striving for improvement healthily and sustainably. That’s what results in self-mastery eventually. 

If you’re struggling with perfectionism and are looking for a thinking partner to Coach you through this journey, reach out to me here.