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We have all faced this every now and then- the buzzword of our generation – stress, stress, and more stress. If I stood in a room full of 100 people and asked the question “Who here has not been stressed, ever in their lives?” I am pretty sure I will receive pin-drop silence in the room.
There was a time in my life where I was nothing but stressed. I could barely sleep because thoughts would keep me awake at night. I would eat every bad thing under the sun hoping this time around it would calm me down, but of course, it didn’t. My hormones went for a wreck which meant beginning trends of PCOD. I had no energy to work out with the constant anxiety and sleeplessness.
I would have continued being like this unless I went to a wise doctor for my rising medical concerns. A lady in her 50s, she heard me out patiently and said just one thing – Do you think you are the only one stressed?
And that was it. That was when I realized how much power over my life I had given to this fictitious stress. We victimize ourselves, assuming this is the way of life, whereas the truth is exactly the opposite. The truth is that I was not managing my stress well. I assumed that if I did A, B, and C and got to Y then my stress will go away. But when has it ever?
It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.
The minute I realized that I had to live with stress and manage it better, my perspective changed. Stress is not necessarily a bad thing, our reaction to it makes it good or worse.
So a few things that I have learned on managing stress better are:
1- Introspect: All my solutions start here. But this is inevitable. We all stress about different things in our life. Before you go about managing stress you must gain clarity on which aspect of life is vastly impacted by stress. Dig deeper on your routines, what takes up a lot of your time, energy and emotions, what causes a trigger that becomes unmanageable. A few days of quiet observation will help you pin this down.
2- Act on areas that are causing stress: A lot of stress comes from the fact that we believe we are helpless to do anything about it, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be true. Follow the 3 step rule to things that are causing stress in your life-
a- Remove it : If it is as simple as it can be done away with. Let it go completely from your life.
b- Change it : If it’s not that easy and has to be lived with, think about the things about it that can be managed. If it is about your increasing work hours, consider if you can sit your boss down and have a conversation on drawing boundaries. Or, if there is a lack of space in your relationship, can you converse with your partner on how to make it work for both of you? There is always a possibility for change. Don’t discount it until you have explored it fully.
c- Accept it : And lastly, if it cannot be done away with and cannot be changed, accept it wholly and fully as it is currently. Constantly going back to thinking about things you cannot solve creates stress in our systems and it runs around in an endless loop, offering no clarity on the future.
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” ~ Leo Buscaglia
When I realized that a lot of my stress came from trying to pin down what came next in my career or my business, I understood that this was a never-ending game, and accepted that I won’t ever have all the answers as this was my only option. And fully accepting that allowed me to thrive in uncertainty instead of constantly worrying about it.
3- Have a routine : A routine that involves working out regularly, meditating, journaling, and connecting with yourself and stick to it no matter what. You will slowly start to move away from things that do not serve you like drowning in stress to get moving.
Remember this quote-
“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” ~ Hermann Hesse
No stress is permanent. No stress is insurmountable. Take it in your stride and stop stressing about stress.