Are you sleepwalking through life, or are you making conscious choices and decisions in life? Are you excited to meet every new day, or do you dread some days and live only on vacations and weekends? Are you merely existing and going through the days of your lives, or are you living it up with all your heart, energy, and love? We will be unpacking this and more and talking about living life intentionally this month!
Today, we will begin our first of 4 series of episodes on living life by design. At Being Meraklis, I talk a lot about intentional living, but what does that mean, really? How do you recognise if you’re sleepwalking through life, and how do you start living life more intentionally? We are going to unpack all of this in the next 4 weeks.
Today, we will talk about the signs you need to look out for to realise if you’re living life on autopilot and how you can reconnect and realign your life to lead richer and fuller lives.
Let me tell you a quick zen parable first,
A man is riding a horse that is galloping very quickly. He seems to be in a hurry — probably heading to an important place.
“Where are you going?” a man yells at him.
“I don’t know. Ask the horse,” the rider replies.
Sometimes, life feels like a horse we cannot control. The horse keeps running whichever direction it so pleases, and we are carried forward from one situation to another. It’s like we’ve given away the remote control to our lives to someone else and are following the call to action when somebody else presses a button. We go through our day to day motions with barely any involvement and simply get by. Time keeps passing, and one day when we finally wake up, we can’t recognise ourselves, our lives, our choices, or our behaviour.
The probelm is that there are enough distractions in the world for us to keep passing time. But before we know it, we will reach our deathbed full of regrets because we pursued the many little distractions instead of the handpicked big dreams.
I’ve been there and lived life on autopilot for many years that took a toll on my life. I felt disconnected, disengaged, and dissatisfied in life. The disconnect grew wider as I trudged along in the same path without taking action; I’d wake up dreading the day, fight resistance at every level to keep functioning, lost taste for many good things in life. Until I realised it wasn’t sustainable.
I started making small shifts to live life more intentionally. I spent a lot of time understanding what’s my compass? Learning my personal philosophy and what is worth doing for me. Many years down the road, I’ve never been happier; I make more time for things I love, and I lead life peacefully and joyfully.
Now, when I look back, the signs of autopilot living was there for me to see. I just didn’t know what to look for. So if you’re feeling disconnected from life on some level and aren’t sure if you’re living life on autopilot – here are 5 signs to look out for
Sign 1: Your first thought when you wake up is – dread about the day ahead
The first sureshot sign of living on autopilot is the dread that comes with it. There is that sense of impending doom as you go about your daily routines one after another. Your routines are fixed, and there’s a mechanical way through which you go about it, one after another.
You don’t enjoy the things that brought you joy before. You’ve lost any excitement in life. You find yourself not looking forward to anything.
Sign 2: You barely remember where your hours went
When you lead a life on autopilot, you’re running on what Daniel Kahneman calls System 1 – the routines are wired in our brains, and we simply go through the motion. That means we are barely present. When someone asks how was your day, you space out for a moment, for you have no recollection of how you went about the day and what went on.
Sign 3: You are constantly looking for an escape
When living life on autopilot, a common tendency is to seek escape. You either overschedule your life or overcommit to escape being alone with your thoughts. Or you distract yourself by being on social media and living vicariously by looking at others’ highlight reels on socials. Other common forms of escape are binge-watching Netflix, overeating, working out excessively, or substance abuse. Anything that will keep you from thinking about your life or choices.
Sign 4: You keep moving in circles
You don’t make meaningful progress when you live life on autopilot for many years. You’ll find yourself stuck in a vicious loop. The same old routines, The same old mechanical responses, and the same old output. You keep moving in circles and find yourself struggling to move forward. Your time is spent in mindless motion. Your energy is drained in pulling through the basic chores that you have no mind space or energy left to ask the bigger questions or find answers. So you keep sticking to the status quo that drains you even further.
Sign 5: You know there’s a better way to live
The biggest sign of autopilot living has to be this, there’s this little voice that manages to sneak in amidst all this npise and tells you that there is a better way to live. Either you remember things from the past where you were more joyful or excited about life, or there’s a deep inner knowing in you that tells you life can be better. When I was stuck in limbo, this voice told me life could be better in small ways for years, but I kept ignoring it. The clarity, conviction, and persistence of this voice are what eventually helps us to break free from the inertia.
So here’s the own your everyday tip for the week, stop letting life happen to you and see how you can take the reins back and lead your life consciously. If you find yourself disconnected, disengaged, or dissatisfied consistently in life, pause and reflect on what truly is your compass. Ask yourself what area of your life feels out of alignment, and gently explore what you can do to correct that aspect and bring it back on track. Want more support? Book one of my free coaching sessions, and let’s brainstorm together.
This is Shwetha Sivaraman signing off until we meet again, hoping you have a fabulous week ahead!