I often hear people say this, “it’s not that bad yet,” “I’ll do something about it, when shit hits the roof,” and I’m flabbergasted with just one single word repeating in my head – WHY? Why wait for things to get worse? Why wait for a situation to be intolerable before making a move? Why not change circumstances in your favour before becoming desperate. WHY? If you keep waiting around to hit rock bottom before making a change, then this one’s you.
Hello and welcome back to a brand new episode on the Own Your Everyday series in the Being Meraklis Podcast. Today, we will talk about this fascination to wait till we hit rock bottom before making a meaningful change happen in our lives.
Let’s begin with understanding what rock bottom is. Rock bottom is essentially hitting a low point – physically, mentally, or emotionally- a point of no return where an individual finally musters the courage to make better choices in life and improves it for the better. It’s the extent to which we keep digging our own graves deeper and deeper until we say no more. We commonly use it closely with addiction and substance abuse. Still, it’s applicable across life situations – addiction to technology, shopping, binge eating, binge-watching, specific types of people etc.
A lot of us are reasonably self-aware to realise when something is not working out for us. We see its manifestations in our life. If it’s a job that’s no longer meaningful, we dread waking up in the mornings. If it’s a relationship we are running away from, we avoid meetings, calls to avoid any chance of confrontation. We know something is wrong, but we don’t bother staying with it and figuring it out. We’d instead escape by binge-watching Squid Game on Netflix or whatever else is the new fad.
Or, we argue with ourselves and settle for the status quo by comparing it with others who have it worse. See, her boss yells at her 5 times a day, and she hasn’t quit her job; mine only yells 3 times. I should be able to manage.
And, we reassure ourselves it’s not that bad. Oh, I only smoke 3 cigarettes a day (when it’s actually 20); it’s not that bad. I have it under control.
But if we know we are not completely happy and okay with the way life is going or the things we are doing, what stops us from taking that leap and making a change?
Lori Gottlieb said it beautifully when she says, “We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.”
You say making a change involves letting go of certain things that are currently comfortable. Say you know you have to move out of a job where you’re not learning anything new and are not happy with the culture or the professional growth. But leaving it means walking out of a role where expectations are set, where you’re comfortable with the people around you, where your salary hits the account every month. Sure, you hate the job and dread every single moment you’re working, but you’re getting the other things. Until we are ready to lose those things, change is not possible. And, so we wait to go as low as we can probably go. We start underperforming in the job cause we don’t like it and have no inclination to do it. It impacts our appraisals; our bosses add to the stress by continually pushing us. We lose confidence in ourselves and perform even worse until the company kicks us out and hello rock bottom. We’ve reached our lowest point, and now with no other option left, we are forced to do the more challenging climb up!
The same is the case with people turning around lifestyle choices after getting a terrible diagnosis from doctors. We think we are saving ourselves pain instead of adding to our woes by neglecting things that need to change.
So stop waiting to hit rock bottom to change your life. When we live life intentionally, we can catch ourselves when we are not fully aligned faster, i.e. see ourselves more quickly when we are not happy or upset or distressed and make change happen that much sooner.
We can transcend our lives when we make change happen from a place of desire, aspiration, self-love, acceptance, and joy, rather than pain, fear, and avoidance. Reflect back on all areas of your life where you have faced the most resistance or friction in the last few weeks; what can you do now in those areas of your life to course correct and avoid going all the way down to rock bottom? Make that choice consciously today.
So there’s your own your everyday tip for this week
“Don’t wait to change till you hit rock bottom!”
Don’t wait till you feel intense pain or go as low as you can before you make changes happen in your lives. Consciously begin today and start with small baby steps towards your desired goals. The entire universe will come together in making it happen for you soon enough.