The One Where Maya Never Feels Ready

Maya had her usual week, one where she went about juggling work and life as always. Until something unexpected happened. Out of the blue, she got a call from her Senior Director. The role she’d dreamed of, which would at least be two professional jumps or more, was hers if she was up for it.

Maya felt like she was in a dream. You hear about these things happening – an unexpected leader’s exit and an organisation that recognises the potential in you to leap. But it’s never something you expect to happen to you. Maya felt taken aback.

Her thoughts spiralled out of control. Can she cope with the demands of the role? Will someone as young as her be accepted as a senior leader? What if she fails? Is she ready for this?

She had more questions than answers. Thankfully, work kept her busy, and the thoughts took a backseat. She had a session with Tara, her Coach, in a few days, and she decided to park it until then.

The session couldn’t happen soon enough, and as soon as she entered Tara’s office, Maya shared her conundrum. The excitement at being offered a position she could only dream of, and the fear that she may not be ready yet.

Tara patiently heard her out, offered her congratulations, and gently enquired, ‘where is this fear coming from?’

Maya wasn’t sure. The more she thought about it, the more she realised she’d always been like this. The number of letters describing her many qualifications after her name was a testament to her never feeling ready. She responded carefully, “I’m not sure if it’s a fear, Tara. I have always felt like I had a lot more to learn and know before I feel prepared for anything. There’s always such a wide gap between who I feel I am and what I aspire to do. I feel the same way about this role. I want it. I’ve always wanted it, but am I prepared for it?”

Tara nodded understandingly, imposter syndrome often knocks the hardest when it’s something we desire so close to our hearts. She reflected on Maya’s thoughts and asked, “What has helped you accomplish something in the past even when you felt you weren’t prepared enough?”

Maya contemplated and recognised immediately, “Well, that’s how I took this job 9 years ago Tara. It was a huge leap from my previous role and I was quite nervous as it involved a city change, a function change, and a lot more responsibility. But what I kept telling myself then was that I’m open to learning. I was younger, I had a greater appetite for a mistake or a failure. Thankfully, things worked out over the years and my appetite for failure was never tested.”

Tara reflected gently, “So, it wasn’t about being ready or prepared but having the openness to learn that served you in the past to reach where you are.”

Maya agreed, “Absolutely! I didn’t have all the answers but I was curious to find out and that made me open doors and unlock results in my role like never before. But Tara, this role is different. I’m no longer only responsible for my work but I’ll be expected to lead a team of senior leaders who probably know the work better than me. I would be expected to know answers and I’m not sure if just my curiosity would be enough for this next leap.”

“What do you need more of, Maya, to feel enough for this next leap?,” asked Tara with curiosity to see what might unfold.

Maya took her time. “I’m not sure Tara, it feels like such a big leap. If I accept this, I’d probably be the youngest Director the company has ever seen. I’m not sure what would even be expected from such a leader?”

Tara felt there was more left unsaid, so she paused and gently nudged, “What are your expectations from yourself that you feel may not live up to, Maya?”

Maya’s voice trembled with emotion, “I’ve had such inspiring leaders Tara. They’ve left such a big mark on me and my journey so far. It’s difficult to imagine me stepping into those shoes. Can I lead the way they had? It feels like a huge responsibility.”

Tara stayed with Maya’s emotions and asked her, “What did you love most about the leaders who inspired you, Maya?”

Maya paused to reflect and let out a laugh suddenly, “Now that I think about it, Tara, I loved the fact they embraced not knowing with grace. One leader I remember especially, RG, was one such humble soul. He had no pretenses going about having it all figured out and handled it with such grace. He truly taught me it was not about knowing it all, but about figuring things out together.”

Tara smiled as she asked quietly, ‘How do you feel, Maya, as you reflect on that?’

Maya went on, more confidently, “Maybe I don’t have to know it all, Tara, but be humble enough to learn and figure it out with my team. Maybe it’s not about performance but presence and empathy. Staying attuned to my team members, understanding what’s needed, and doing my best to learn, grow, deliver, and support others in their growth.”

She continued, “I think I was looking at this all wrong. All this while, I’ve been thinking taking up this role would be another opportunity to prove to others that I’m good enough. But I don’t have anything to prove to anyone anymore. Maybe, if I simply look at this opportunity to explore my own potential, the pressure is off me and I can do more of what I love – learn.”

We’ve all been in Maya’s shoes, where despite life’s opportunities knocking on our doors, we feel we are not ready for it. But what if the journey of leadership and life is not about having it all figured out, but about being open enough to try, learn, fail, and grow?

Some prompts I reflect on when this feeling of lack of readiness shows up for me

• What opportunities am I declining for fear of not being ready yet?
• What strengths of mine have helped me succeed in the past despite feeling not ready?
• Where do I need to let go of the pressure to perform and be more present instead?
• What are ways I can keep cultivating curiosity as I grow?
• What opportunities open up for me if I drop the need to prove myself to others and look at them as a way to explore and stretch my potential?