The One Where Maya finds an antidote to Persistent Dread

It was another Monday morning, and after snoozing the alarm 12 times, Maya dragged her feet off the bed. She was late, and the day wasn’t going to get any more pleasant by stalling.

She woke up dreading each day, and this feeling has persisted for over a year. As she brushed her teeth, her reflection showed a woman older than her 40 years, worn more by life than age.

Her family’s banter snapped her back to reality. The rest of the morning followed its routine: arguing with her spouse, yelling at the kids to get ready, rushing to the car, and swearing through traffic. By the time she reached the office, she was exhausted, but calls, meetings, and work consumed her. After work, she drove home, exchanged meaningless small talk at dinner, and crashed for the night. Each day blurred into the next, differing only in the intensity of dread she felt each day.

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Meraklis Musings is a weekly newsletter that offers simple, sustainable, and actionable insights to enable busy professionals to #ThriveConsciously.

This article is part of an ongoing series of distilling my reflections from coaching conversations over the years as a life journey of a fictional character Maya.

To know more about my work and impact, visit www.beingmeraklis.com.

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There was a ray of hope, a long weekend at the end of this week. Maya hoped it would give her some room to catch her breath. But on Thursday, Maya’s brother called—he needed her to care for their two-year-old daughter, Diya, while he and his spouse tended to a relative in the hospital. Maya said yes, but immediately regretted losing her quiet weekend. As much as she loved Diya, she knew her continuous chatter would mean little rest.

Diya arrived at Maya’s place on Friday morning, cranky and angry. She kept asking for her parents, and nothing Maya did placated her. Finally, after hours of tantrums, Diya warmed up.

That evening, Maya decided to take her to the park. Maya sat Diya down on the swing and started gently pushing her. Diya’s innocent giggles pulled Maya out of her own head and into the present. She laughed each time she went high up, asking for more, her joy boundless. Maya couldn’t remember the last time she laughed at such simple joys. She didn’t remember her own kids when they were 2 years old. She was so busy at work and caught up in the race to the top of the corporate ladder that she was rarely present to observe or absorb these little moments. She wondered if her own children laughed like this, simply being on the swing.

Diya’s giggles knew no bounds. It seemed like she’d forgotten her parents weren’t around or that she was in a brand new place with Maya, whom she’d only met over weekly dinners and occasional trips. She had no care in the world. Again, Maya went back to her own mental state over the last few years and couldn’t recall a single time she’d not been stressed, anxious, or worried. She was thriving in her career, yet was always on edge, fearing that everything could crumble given the state of the global economy.  She was so worried about things falling apart that she would stretch his work hours, go above and beyond, and was rarely present for her family and their needs.

Maya soon tired of pushing the swing, but Diya’s thrill didn’t seem to diminish. Listening to her now-tired arms, Maya brought Diya down from the swing and led her to play with the other kids in the park. She found a park bench nearby and sat down.

Maya continued to watch Diya with curiosity. To Diya’s eyes, everything seemed wondrous. A simple rock, a small toy in the hands of another child, going round and round sitting on a duck, nothing felt banal or ordinary or boring to her. It was as if she were in the toddler version of Ferrari World.

As she saw the spark of wonder in Diya’s eyes, Maya couldn’t help but reflect on the last time she experienced wonder. Over the last few years, Maya dragged her feet through the days because everything felt mundane. Even the activities and things she used to love lost their charm and started to feel like a chore.

Now, she paused to ask herself, is it because life held no charm or because she lost sight of the miracles and wonder along the way? Looking at Diya running with glee, she had a sinking feeling it was the latter.

After all that running around, by the time Maya put Diya in the car to head home, she was fast asleep, exhausted from all that play and fun. Maya was chuckling to herself now because Diya mirrored everything missing in her current life. When was the last time Maya slept so soundly without a care in the world? She’d resigned to becoming an insomniac. As Maya drove Diya back home, she thought maybe the secret to a good night’s sleep was living your heart out during the day. There’s no guilty conscience to eat you up at night when you’ve been true to yourself through your thoughts and actions in the day.

There was an eerie sense of quiet in the house post-dinner, and Maya allowed herself to dwell in that silence, contemplating her actions and choices over the years. The day spent with Diya triggered many reflections, but one resonated most deeply – the need to restore her sense of wonder in life.  Sure, there were things that needed course correction, but there were also many blessings she simply took for granted.  “How would it be if she stopped to notice these blessings and maybe even appreciated and acknowledged their presence in her life?” Maybe then life will stop feeling like a chore, and she can enjoy each day.

She made a few decisions that day:

1. To appreciate and acknowledge the little wonders of everyday life
2. To stop taking work more seriously than needed and come back home on time
3. To spend quality time with family and be more present than worry about the future

She still didn’t have all the answers, but simply the decision to cultivate wonder and find beauty in the everyday made her feel as though a burden had been lifted from her chest. The heaviness he was carrying unknowingly for years was lightened by the mere giggles of a two-year-old on a swing. With a hearty laugh, she turned the lights out and went up to bed and slept like a baby.

If you feel persistent dread like Maya, here are some prompts to reflect on:

1. What in your life are you currently taking for granted? How can you appreciate them more?
2. How can you inculcate a sense of wonder and appreciate the little things in your daily life?
3. What will help you feel excited when you wake up in the morning?
4. What do you need to stop/start doing to feel more alive each day?

#BeingMeraklis #AutopilotToIntentional #ThriveConsciously