Ep 67 – Building self-confidence

Confidence is not about genetics. It is a learned skill. Which means regardless of where you are on the confidence scale, you can work towards raising the levels. If you’ve constantly felt low on self-confidence this one’s for you.

Self-Confidence is the belief that we can rely on ourselves to get something done, to achieve the goals we set for ourselves, to follow through what we commit to do, and to attain success. But more often than not, as adults we believe in everyone but ourselves to get anything done. And this lack of self-belief comes in our way and makes it harder for us to do what we set out to achieve for ourselves.

There are several limiting beliefs we hold about confidence.

But first let’s break some myths surrounding confidence

1. You don’t have to be born with it.

   People often say Oh she’s confident since she was a kid and its commonly misunderstood that you’re born with it. But that is far from the truth. Confidence like any skill can be built over time. The muscle needs to be trained is all.

2. Confidence is not the same across various aspects of our lives.

   We might be confident in our work but not so confident in parenting or sports. So foolishly assuming someone is confident in every aspect of their lives and putting yourself down may not be the wisest move. They may have some strong suits, but everyone has areas in their lives where they are not so confident.

3. You need confidence to be successful.

   It’s actually the other way round, success feeds higher levels of confidence.

Self-confidence to me is to be able to venture into the unknown without self-doubt steering the wheel. We all have doubts, but the key is to not allow doubts steer the wheel of our life and limit us to narrow spaces.

Here are a few ways to boost self-confidence:

1. Start with imitation

   If you’ve never felt confident in your life, mimic someone you think is confident. How would they think/feel/act in a situation? Begin by imitating them

2. Begin somewhere.

   The biggest challenge is that lack of self-confidence stops us from even trying. We procrastinate and avoid taking action. But inaction only lowers our self-esteem. So identify baby steps but make sure to begin somewhere.

   “Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what? Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident, and more and more successful.” ­- Mark Victor Hansen

3. Be okay with imperfect action.

   A lot of times we lose confidence because we are afraid we won’t be able to do it perfectly right. Remember how you learned to walk as a baby? How many times and ways in which you fell before you could stand tall on your two feet? A lot of things in life are similar. We have to be okay with taking imperfect action until we gain mastery. So enhance your tolerance for imperfections.

Own your everyday tip this week

The next time you stop yourself from doing something because you’re not confident, remind yourself that, You try, you fail, you learn, and you grow, that’s the only order in which it works. Stop waiting to become perfect and get cracking. Slowly but surely your competency will improve, your success ration will soar, and your confidence will come, but only if you have the courage to try.

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This is Shwetha signing off hoping you have a fabulous week