Ep 59 – How to avoid stagnation in life

We all know about mid-life crisis and hitting that stagnation point between the ages of 40 and 65. However, with every passing generation crisis comes early with studies now suggesting that it’s highly possible for people in their 20s to face stagnation. A quarter-life crisis is not very uncommon these days. We feel trapped in our jobs or are anxious and stressed about what is next in our personal and professional lives

Hi, you’re listening to Own your every day in the Being Meraklis Podcast and I’m your host and self-awareness coach Shwetha Sivaraman. Today we’re going to talk about what stagnation is and how we can avoid getting stuck and keep growing in our life.

We all know life can be a roller coaster ride, with highs and lows coming at breakneck speeds and catching us unaware at most times. But sometimes there are patches that feel endless where we feel stuck, trapped, or find ourselves gasping for air as we try to break free from our self-imposed rut.

Stagnation sneaks up on us, slimily when no one is looking. You’ve either worked hard to get somewhere and you suddenly pause and allow complacency to set in. Or you’ve been trying too hard for too long and have started giving up cause you feel nothing is working out. Or you’ve lost interest in what you’re doing and it no longer excites you to wake up in the morning and get to it. Or one aspect of your life is dwindling completely out of control, say a relationship not working out. It takes away so much of your energy that it saps you of interest from other aspects like career, friendships, and family. Stagnation can hit us in many ways.

Some Signs of stagnation in life could look like

• No motivation to do anything – things you love things you don’t love. You flow through life in a auto-pilot limbo
• Your mind automatically focuses on the negatives in every situation – Oh there’s no point doing this work, or I’m never going to scale as big as, or I’m so unlucky, this happens only to me. or your anxiety is off the charts plotting all plausible what if worst case scenarios. – What if I never get a job, What If I get divorced. What if my start up fails – these thoughts take you on a loop and keep you stuck there.
• You procrastinate endlessly cause who has energy to do work when you’re actively cooking up worst case scenarios in the mind.
• General discontentment about where you are currently in life and not being able to snap out of it.

Here are a few ways you can snap out of it:

1. Get off social media:

Social media is the worst place to be when you have existential crisis. Looking at others reel life happy faces and social successes is not what you need when you’re down and out. You unconsciously start comparing your lives with others and feel even more miserable than you started off with.

2. Reflect and identify priorities:

When you’re at a stage of stagnation nothing feels important and so you do nothing and then continue feeling bad about it. To snap out of this stagnation, get out of the victim mindset and ask yourself what will make you feel good about your life right now and what is in your control? If you ask just one question the answers can be a gazillion dollars and an inter-galactic space travel. So make sure to ask both, what will make you feel good that is doable and within your control. And, look within when you do this. Our natural tendency is to look out at the world, see what others have and create desires around that. But that is a quick fix and won’t help in giving you joy in the long run.

3. Start small:

When a lot of aspects of our lives are spiraling out of control, it can get very overwhelming very quick and overwhelm stops you from starting anywhere. So stop looking at how tall a mountain your aspirational to-do list is and start taking tiny steps. The best way to move out of stagnation is to get moving one baby step at a time. Choose the most important area of your life that needs attention and start moving the needle there by getting out of your own head and take action. Once you start moving in one direction, the momentum will give you confidence to do more.

4. Make time for things you love:

We all have things that bring us joy and doesn’t cost us money or resources. A good cup of filter coffee is that for me, or a quick chat with my family, or creating art, or reading a book, or writing a piece in my journal only for my eyes. It doesn’t have to be a side hustle, just good old fashioned hobby. Make time to do that daily and give yourself something to look forward to.

So here’s your own your everyday tip:

Become aware of you are feeling that sensation of stagnation in your life and see if you can identify what parts of your life needs to improve to come out of that feeling. With that clarity start small and gradually become more proactive in creating your life that gives you meaning and fulfilment and helps you thrive.

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