Demystifying Attachments and how Self-Mastery can help us break-free from it

A common theme across Gita and Vedanta is Attachment. We are constantly attached to our thoughts, feelings, relationships, possessions, and identities. This attachment comes in the way of self-mastery because where there’s attachment, there’s no freedom. 

ध्यायतो विषयान्पुंस: सङ्गस्तेषूपजायते |

सङ्गात्सञ्जायते काम: कामात्क्रोधोऽभिजायते || 2.62||

dhyayato vishayan pumsah sangas teshupajayate

sangat sanjayate kamah kamat krodho ’bhijayate

The verse states that while contemplating on the objects of the senses, one develops attachment to them. Attachment leads to desire, and from desire arises greed or anger.

So, if we were to do a simple cause and effect, it would look something like this.

Attachment —> Desire —> Greed/ Delusion (if fulfilled)

Attachment —> Desire —> Anger (if unfulfilled)

The attachment is the beginning of all vices because it leads to desires. Desires whether fulfilled or not end up causing mental agitation. So the key to sustaining peace of mind and attaining self-mastery is to minimise desires and to do that we need to reduce attachment.

But, how do we form attachments?

Think about it, were you worried about your husband as a teenager? Of course not! You didn’t even know he existed. He existed only after the marriage and after you began to constantly think about him. Similarly, as a student we would have been obsessed about studies, exams, and marks. 10 years into your work experience you’re not attached to it because you don’t think about it anymore. 

We create attachment by constantly thinking about things.

The more we think about it the more we give solidity to our thoughts and bind ourselves emotionally – be it a person, object, or a situation. Now, the automatic solution we jump to when we realise this is that we must stop thinking.

If we stop thinking we can cut attachments. We try hard and keep persevering to not think about our deepest desires, our longings and cravings. The efforts go in vain because the harder we try the more the thought sticks.

Imagine I tell you this, from now on think about anything and everything but not a monkey.

What happens? Even if a monkey was nowhere on your radar you cannot think about anything but that. There they are swinging branch to branch in your head, probably snatching coke bottles. Self-mastery can never emerge from restriction and prohibition.

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Here’s what you can do instead of trying to stop thinking

Stop thinking never works with the mind because the nature of the mind is to cling to anything and everything. The way Indic Scriptures recommend we detach from our selfish thoughts and desires is to give the mind something else to attach to. Something that doesn’t create restlessness or anxiety in us. Hence, japa. The sound vibrations are healing in general and they’re more productive to think about than our anxieties.

If you’re not into religion, it could be a higher purpose, something beyond your selfish interests or needs. I know bankers who strive to provide financial inclusion through their work and that gives them a sense of motivation or purpose. I know clients of mine who have a 9-to-5 job but are passionate about a cause to spread joy through baking or art over the weekends. The what is immaterial, as long as it serves a larger purpose beyond self-preservation. 

Experiment with cultivating an attachment to something higher. It’s a lot more effective in silencing the mind and elevating the vicious cycle of thoughts from self-centred selfish pursuits to higher collective goals.

Meraklis Insight:

Introspect on what you think about repeatedly and if it’s not something constructive explore how you can rewire it to something that causes lesser mental angst. Self-mastery requires constant rewiring of beliefs and thought patterns that no longer serve us.