The one where Maya is indecisive

It was late evening. The end of a long weekday and Maya’s head was buzzing, her thoughts were going a mile a minute. She had to make a decision soon and it was weighing on her. Two weeks ago, she got a call from a competitor company offering her dream position. Time was running out and she had to make a choice.

Does she continue in her current organisation where she’s worked for 14 years, hoping they’ll promote her to her dream role or should she take up the offer and move out?

As a leader, Maya was known for her laser-sharp focus and quick decision-making, but somehow this decision has left her stumped. Her overthinking mind argued both sides of the decision and reasoned well. There was no clear winner and it was starting to frustrate her.

She decided it was time to connect with her Coach, Tara. Finding the earliest possible slot on Tara’s calendar, she felt a little ease that maybe a conversation would help clarify.

Friday morning couldn’t come any sooner and Maya eagerly made her way to Tara’s office. She was ready to put the oscillating and never-ending dialogue in her head to a complete rest.

Even before she sat down in Tara’s office, Maya spilt out the entire dilemma in her head. She concluded her rant by saying, “I’m tired of overthinking this. I need to make a choice and do it now.”

Tara was mildly surprised that Maya seemed to be in doubt. She gently enquired, “I know how decisive you usually are, Maya. What about this decision is making you overthink it?”

“Exactly Tara! That’s what surprises me. I think one thing is that this offer was unexpected. I wasn’t looking for a transition this time around. Maybe it is that surprise element that I haven’t sought this change. Also, that there’s no clear winner. Both paths have their pros and cons and my mind keeps swinging like a pendulum, both for and against. This has been going on for two weeks now. I’m tired of constantly overthinking. I’m not able to focus on my work. I keep snapping at people because I seem to have no bandwidth to deal with anything else. My appetite has gone for a toss and it’s been over a week since I had a good night’s sleep.”

Tara could sense Maya’s mounting frustration. She couldn’t help but wonder, “What do you feel is at stake here, Maya?”

Maya considered that for a moment. She admitted it, “I feel like this is a life-altering decision. All my professional life, I’ve been waiting exactly for this switch, and a part of me is worried that if I mess this up, there may not be a second chance. What if this is my only shot at getting my dream role and a wrong move would break everything I’ve worked so hard for all these years!”

Tara could empathise, she had her share of many decisions that felt like make or break. But in retrospect, they all seemed too insignificant. Tara gently asked, “So, there’s a fear that this decision will make or break your career – all that you’ve worked for and what comes next.” She paused and probed further, “Is that true, Maya? How real is this fear?”

“Well! When I think about it, maybe not so much. But I’m unable to decide either way because it feels like my mind is unable to analyse how the future will unfold. Both decisions could go either way and that makes it very scary for me to make a decision. I’m not able to strategise my way out of this, because who knows how the industry will shape up in the coming years and with it my role and performance.”

Tara understood the limitations of the thinking mind quite well. She gently nudged,” You know Maya, maybe this isn’t something to be strategised, but sensed.”

Maya looked utterly confused, “What do you mean Tara?”

Tara went on, “Well Maya, cognition is like a spotlight; brilliant, focused, yet narrow. Excessive reliance on the prefrontal cortex (our thinking brain) crowds out signals from the body and heart. We analyse, but rarely absorb. We strategise, but rarely sense. What if this decisions requires you to tap into the intelligence beyond the mind to find the right answer?”

Maya considered this deeply. She lived most of her days from her head. Her pace of life didn’t leave her with much other choice. She went on autopilot, checking things off the list, and the mind was a good place to separate the wheat from the chaff and keep her on the go. But maybe, this time she needed a different intelligence to make this choice.

Quietly, she admitted, “I think you’re right. I’ve been trying so hard to solve this cognitively. Maybe I need a different intelligence to know the answer to this dilemma.”

Tara allowed the insight to seep in, and gently asked her, “What are some activities that help you move out of the head and drop in to your body, Maya?”

Maya quickly retorted, “Well, just being in nature! As a matter of fact, I’m supposed to be going on a trek this weekend. Maybe that’d give me the opportunity to go beyond the thinking mind.”

Maya walked out of Tara’s office with a lot more ease, knowing that the answer wasn’t far away.

Saturday morning, she rose early before dawn to make her way up the little hill nearby. By the time she reached atop the hill, she was huffing and puffing, but awestruck at the sight of dawn from the scenic viewpoint.

Before she could stop herself, the thinking mind swept into action, “What a beautiful sunrise! If only, I could witness this magic every morning.”

But remembering her conversation with Tara she decided to drop the inner chatter in the mind and took a few minutes to tune into her body. It was difficult in the beginning, but slowly she noticed how the cold wind felt against her skin, the warmth of her breath still settling into a rhythm after the steep climb, the awe rising in her chest, and the sheer thrill of savouring such a profound sight! She felt charged up having such a felt experience that went beyond the mind and included the body, sensations, and emotions.

She found a comfortable spot to settle down and brought to mind the dilemma. “Should she quit or stay on?”

At first, there was an unsettling quiet. Gradually she noticed, there were butterflies in her stomach at the thought of a new challenge. Her heart started to beat faster. The realisation that the challenge was not going to be easy, but it’s what she’s been preparing for all this while. There was a slight constriction in the chest, a small voice of doubt that raised its head as if to say, “Am I really prepared?”

Suddenly Maya realised she had her answer. She wanted to accept the offer but was afraid because the voice of self-doubt in her wasn’t sure if she was good enough to take it up.

She stood up atop the hilltop with absolute clarity on what to do next.

She would quit and take that leap of faith. It would be challenging, but she’d regret not testing her mettle when life gave her the perfect opportunity to prove her worth.

We all have access to intelligence beyond the mind that Maya tapped into in her trek. But we are conditioned to dismiss this intelligence. We call emotions “soft,” body signals “irrelevant,” and intuition “woo-woo or unreal.”

Yet, cutting-edge research, from the ‘gut-brain axis’ to somatic psychology, reveals that our deepest wisdom often lives below the neck.

• Our gut churns at a bad deal before our brain registers the facts.
• Our chest tightens in a meeting where unspoken truths linger.
• Creative insights “bubble up” when the mind lets go.

No wonder they say,

“The longest journey you will ever take is from your head to your heart.”

As long as we stay in our heads, life is an abstract set of moves based on the limited confines of logic. When we drop in, even for a moment, we feel the richness. The quiet “yes” of inner knowing that guides many a complex decision.

Your Invitation: Next time you’re spiralling in thought, pause. Place a hand in your heart centre. Ask: What am I sensing right now? Allow space—don’t rush to articulate and interpret; just feel. Let your sensations, intuition, and emotion have a seat at the table of your knowing.

This is not an invitation to abandon thinking, but to expand our sensing and knowing through all centres of wisdom within us.

That’s where life is lived: Not in the head alone, but in the wholeness of our being.